A Much Grander Thing
by half agony and hope
Summary: "'That's lucky,' he says, grinning from ear to ear, and it occurs to her that she's never truly seen Jane happy until this very moment." A variation on Violets.


**AN: Hello Mentalistas! Thanks for the great response to "The Crack in the Armor". Though I haven't been able to respond to reviews lately, I read them all and appreciate every one of them. So thanks again for your kind words.**

 **This fic takes place right before case-closed pizza in "Violets" (so Pike has not asked Lisbon out that night yet). It's in a similar vein to "And We Can Light a Match". Since that fic was one of my favorites to write, I wanted to experiment with the style a bit. Hope you like the result!**

 **I've modified a lyric from "Poison and Wine" by The Civil Wars for use in this fic.**

 **Also, if you're in need of more fic for The Mentalist, you should check out the virtual season 8 that a team of writers (including me) have been working on. The stories are available on this website now, and I've listed them under "My Favorites" to make it easier to find.**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own The Mentalist.**

* * *

A Much Grander Thing

* * *

" _Lots of people are willing to die for the person they love, which is a pity, because it is a much grander thing to live for that person."_

Jason Hurst

* * *

 _seven_

* * *

She feels Jane's presence before she sees him.

"Hey," he says softly as he approaches from behind her, and she turns to smile at him as they walk into the bullpen together.

"You okay?" she asks, taking in his expression. She knows this case has struck a chord with Jane, though she's lost as to the exact reason why.

"Right as rain."

She gives him a long look before nodding toward the break room. "I heard a rumor that we were going to resurrect case-closed pizza," she says with a smile, leaning over to bump her shoulder against his companionably.

Jane stares at her, and she watches curiously as he calculates what to say next. Amused, Lisbon reaches over to unwrap the scarf from around his neck.

"There," she says when she's finished. "The scarf was throwing me off. You haven't looked like my Jane for the past couple days."

The scarf is still warm from the heat of his skin.

She watches Jane's face change as he decides on a course of action.

"Do you have your heart set on case-closed pizza, or could you be persuaded to try something different?"

He tries for bravado but fails miserably. She finds this charming.

Lisbon smiles up at him. "I think I could be persuaded to try something new."

He offers her his arm.

She takes it.

* * *

 _eight_

* * *

They end up on the other side of town at an obscure little Indian restaurant, and Lisbon falls in love with its chaotic atmosphere as soon as they step inside.

Jane orders one of the milder entrées for her, and she is touched that somewhere in his Memory Palace he has stashed away the fact that she cannot stand spicy foods. She shoots him a smile as he finishes ordering.

He offers to let her try a bite of his chicken when it arrives.

"Only a small piece," she says warily, knowing he ordered a fiery curry.

Her mouth feels aflame the moment she tries to swallow it, and Jane quickly holds out her glass of water.

Her eyes mist over as she gasps for breath.

Jane cracks up, and the tears in his eyes are for an entirely different reason.

* * *

 _nine_

* * *

"You want to stay for a bit?"

She's just pulled the SUV up to his Airstream, and Jane stops himself from shutting the passenger side door, looking at her eagerly.

Lisbon glances at the clock on the dashboard. It is early, she realizes. Plus, it's the weekend.

"Okay," she says quietly, and she can see Jane's answering grin even through the darkness as she shuts off the ignition.

* * *

 _ten_

* * *

"Was this a date?" asks Lisbon suddenly, turning to look at him.

It is a warm night in Austin, so they'd decided to lay on a blanket in the grass, looking up at the stars, and they'd spent the last ten minutes trying to outcompete each other with their knowledge of constellations.

Jane's arms are folded behind his head to act as a makeshift pillow. He glances at her from the corner of his eye.

"Well, I'd use the present tense," he says, and his eyes return to the stars above them.

She rolls her eyes. " _Is_ this a date?" she amends.

He shifts so that he is laying on his side, looking straight at her rather than up at the sky. "I hope so," he says quietly. He holds her gaze for a while, not quite able to get a read on her. "Do you want it to be?"

She nods. "Yes, of course," she breathes.

"That's lucky," he says, grinning from ear to ear, and it occurs to her that she's never truly seen Jane happy until this very moment.

* * *

 _eleven_

* * *

Lisbon begins shivering as the temperature drops.

Jane suggests moving inside, but she is loath to surrender her view of the stars. Mumbling under his breath about her stubbornness, Jane retrieves another blanket from the Airstream and drops it over her. Then he lays down beside her again.

She reaches for him hesitantly, wondering how he will react. Somewhat to her surprise, he immediately pulls her near.

She should have suspected that Jane would be touchy-feely.

Smiling to herself, she can't say she minds.

* * *

 _twelve_

* * *

They lay facing each other, their faces barely an inch apart, and Lisbon lifts an uncertain hand to rest on Jane's cheek.

His eyes close in response, and he shifts as if to lean into her touch. She smiles again.

"Can I ask you something?" she says softly.

"Anything."

"What exactly happened…that last day?"

His eyes open, and of course he knows immediately that she is referring to the day he killed Red John.

"How much do you know?" he asks.

"Not much," she says. "I didn't have clearance to access the case after the CBI disbanded. I mean, I knew you must have killed him because you ran, but I never heard anything from Abbott regarding what actually happened. And it's not like you mentioned what happened in your letters."

He looks stricken. "You didn't get the message I left for you?"

Her brow furrows. "What message?"

Jane reaches up to cover her hand with his. "I called you. Right…right after. I left a message saying it was all over, that I was okay, that I was going to miss you."

Lisbon breathes out deeply. "My phone was taken into evidence," she says. "I never got it back. Someone must have deleted the message before I got my new phone activated."

"You must have thought I'd abandoned you," says Jane, his voice shaking.

"I knew you had to run," Lisbon says, attempting to sooth. "I knew that day was coming—I knew what was going to happen." She pauses. "But thank you. Thank you for thinking of me that day. I know you had a lot on your mind."

Jane rubs his thumb over the back of her hand. "I couldn't _stop_ thinking of you that day," he says in a rush, as though admitting to some long-kept secret.

Lisbon's eyes narrow as she takes in his dark tone. "What do you mean?"

His eyes search hers for a minute before he answers. "Red John wasn't the only person I planned to use a gun on that day."

It takes her a while to comprehend the full meaning of his words, but when she does, she reaches for him again, pulling him in and cradling his head against her chest.

"What made you change your mind?" she finally whispers, though she thinks she already knows.

"You did."

* * *

 _one_

* * *

They abandon their sanctuary under the stars when Jane feels the gooseflesh on Lisbon's skin, and he grabs her hand to lead her into the Airstream.

He transforms one of the couches into a bed, and she lays down gladly after toeing off her shoes, and her muscles begin to warm up. Jane chuckles and lifts her head up gently to place a pillow beneath it. He throws a blanket over her before joining her underneath.

She spends the first of many nights to come in his arms.

* * *

Jane doesn't sleep that night.

Instead, he holds Lisbon's hands in his, making sure she doesn't feel chilled. He watches her intently, ensuring she has dreams rather than nightmares. He holds her against him and doesn't let go.

At half-past three, Lisbon half-wakes and mumbles into his neck. " _Thank you_ ," she whispers.

Jane chuckles. "For what?" he says, kissing her temple lightly.

"For living," she says.

 _There was never a choice_ , he thinks.

And yet, somehow, he'd still chosen her.


End file.
